I’ve been there. I know what it’s like.

1-22-2012 (10:18 pm)

I’ve always loved performing on stage where usually, I dance to entertain. But it never came to my mind that I would compete in a beauty pageant of some sort. Of course, as what any woman would, I dreamed of becoming one of the beautiful faces I see competing beauty pageants who look like goddesses from above and who just visited us here on earth. Nevertheless, recently, I had no choice but to join our Search for Mr. and Ms. CAS as what my classmates and our professor asked me to do. Well, as for me, I really have no plans to join that thing, but I cannot do more against it.

I have thought of it a million times and weighted the probable aftermath of my decision. As my classmates bugged me, I just looked at the every possible benefit of my joining. I’ve planted in my mind that I will join, but I will not take it seriously, meaning I should not be very affected of the result may it be a win or a loose. After all, I thought, in my everyday life, it’s like I’m in a competition as well, every one of us is actually.

The thing or things that really concerns me is my not-so-pretty face; permit me to describe it that way for the word ugly would be so harsh, it’s like a kick to God’s heart since He made me like this. Don’t be mistaken that I am not confident of the way I look but it seems like I do. After all, since I was a little kid, I feel like I am really not pretty since all of my cousins are. They join beauty pageants whenever they are picked and never fail to bag the crown. Yes, they are that beauty queen material.

But me? Yes, I am tall, I am thin, long hair, and can ramp at least decently; but I am dark, flat chested, flat nose, dull eyes, dark lips, in short, as I’ve said, I am a not-so-pretty-face.

I’ve thought about this competition and I came to the decision that I will join. In fact, what is there to lose? I could experience what it’s like to be competing for beauty and brain. Not everyone gets the opportunity. I overheard somebody that if the opportunity comes, you must grab it, who knows what it might lead you…

Apparently, I joined the contest and though I did not win, let me share to you the experience I have gained from it.

When I am in elementary, my cousin used to join in pageants like that and she talks about it after. I heard her complaining to my aunt that she has to smile all throughout the night with all her teeth out. That’s just one of the things that I planned to do in the pageant, to smile all throughout the night…but I failed to do so. I realized that it’s really hard! When I thought of it, I was confident that I could it for I am used to smiling and yet, when you are in the actual competition, waiting your ass of, especially when the hosts are saying their long spiels, there is no way that you could keep your teeth out! Also, I get disappointed that I cannot see the audience for the spot lights are blinding. It seems like I have to smile not to the audience or to the judges but to the light!

Another thing, when you say that you can ramp your best onstage as you thought, there will come a time that you will occasionally lose your balance for your knees feel weak- unless, you are used to doing that properly, well, not like me.

When the announcement of winners came, you’ll feel a heavy thing bumping your heart yet you have to give your all-smiles to the audience especially when you didn’t get any award. You just have to tell yourself that it’s ok and after all, the experience that it has given you is priceless.

The only most important weapon for every competition is the support that other people are giving you. Especially when you are on the spotlight and you hear their voices cheering you up. It will bring out the most natural smile that you possess.

Having experienced this kind of thing for me is extra ordinary. I am really thankful that had the courage to compete and give all the best that I have. At least I can say whenever I’ll watch a pageant, especially on the same stage that I once stepped on, the words… “I’ve been there.”

 

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